argues Flair Editor Ntsako Phoebe Mabunda.
My friend and I were discussing polygamy and concluded that lying, cheating men who break hearts and wreak havoc in the lives of innocent women and children must not excuse their filthy behaviour by calling it polygamy.
Polygamy had nothing to do with lying and sneaking around. If a man was a polygamist, he made his intentions clear and even involved the wife when it was time to marry a second or third wife. Also, even then it was a privilege for men who could take care of themselves and their families.
If your side-chick had no problem being with you when you told her that you have a wife, then she’s the perfect candidate for polygamy. Just make it clear that it’s not because she’s a better person in anyway compared to your wife, and that it will not end with her either.
Now go home and talk to your wife and family elders. If wifey accepts, great for you. If not, work at convincing her and at being transparent always. If she tells you that polygamy is a deal breaker for her, either set her free or commit to the marriage. You can always find a replacement for senior wife.
Secondly, never ever pit your women off against each other or gossip about one to the other. The more loving and peaceful your home is, the healthier it will be for all of you, including your children from this set-up. Another thing to remember, don’t waste energy building multiple homes if you are lacking in the economic state.