Emotional selfie

Where are you emotionally? asks author and life coach Tintswalo Christian Nkuna.

Most of us love taking selfies and checking it in at nice places on social media. We want people to know we have been there and we want to share with the world how beautiful we look. Social media is a great platform to share our activities and our lives with others, provided it’s used safely considering the risk it may also pose.
We take selfies of our outfits, our make-ups and hairdos to post and in return we get likes and good comments which boost our self-esteem and confidence.

What if you were to take a selfie of your emotional state? What would it look like? How are you, emotionally? Where are you emotionally? Are you in a good space?

We hardly take time to assess and check in on our emotions to really see what is going on in there. Whether you are aware of your emotional state or not, it always comes out in the way you respond or react to the people and things that happen around you.
2020 has been a tough year for most people and for the entire nation and we are all going through stuff that we might not be able to talk about. Some people have lost their jobs, some have lost loved ones to death, some have separated or gotten divorced and some lost their businesses. All these things can have a negative impact on your emotional state.

Being in a bad emotional state does not make you a bad person but you need to be aware of where you are emotionally. Your emotional state can temper with your attitude towards life. Yes, your emotions are influenced by your thoughts and you have control over them. But sometimes life happens and some of the situations can become so bad that you feel like everything is out of your control.

Regardless of what has happened to influence or negatively affect your emotions, you are still responsible for the way you react or respond to life and people around you. If you are not aware of your emotional state, you have less control over it. Once you decide to pay attention and be aware of where you are emotionally, you are able to have control over it.


It is important that you also become aware of the things that trigger your emotional reactions. Do you know what make you annoyed, irritable or impatient or angry? If you become aware of these things that you can either prepare yourself for or plan your days around avoiding them if they are avoidable until you feel better.

For ladies, there is a certain time around our monthly circles that makes us vulnerable and it is important to take note of that, acknowledge it and find ways to manage it. It is easy to be labelled as a bitter, angry or nasty woman just because of a temporary emotional state.

The sad thing with emotions that are unknown and unmanaged is that they have a tendency of ruining your reputation and relationships because the smallest of things can trigger an emotional outburst. Have you ever wondered why someone would get so angry that someone cut them off in traffic or did not greet them to an extent that their entire day gets ruined by that one thing?

When you do your emotional check and find that you are not in the best place emotionally, try to find and do things that help you improve your mood. It could be something you enjoy eating, music you enjoy listening to, a workout session, a conversation with someone you enjoy talking to or it could be praying. In as much as you may know the things that trigger negative emotions from you, it is very important to know also those that trigger good feelings and do more of those things.

If you continuously check in on your emotional state, identify your triggers, do more of the things that put you in a better emotional state, your day and life will improve.*****

Tintswalo Christian Nkuna is the author of Single Again, a life coach and a public speaker.
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