Woman to woman

Building strong unity against women abuse

Let us unite to overcome women abuse, writes Shatadi Thongoane

As we are still celebrating women’s month and fighting against women abuse, can we as women not stand together and fix a few habits done by women? Remember charity begins at home and you cannot go out there trying to fix the world whereas you yourself are a challenge to society.

It’s been said that, one rotten potato spoils them all. While we are busy shouting men are trash, let us think of a few ways in which some of the women portray themselves.

1. Why is there a higher percentage of naked or half dressed women on the streets and social media than men? Women, yes we have rights but how do we present ourselves to the world and our communities? Respect is earned.

2. Why do we like entertaining bad habits like Sugar Daddy this… Blesser that… Ben Ten… Masturbating videos and naked pictures? Why can’t we tell these men asking for our naked pictures to go to hell or tell them if they want to see you naked they know where to find you, and why do you have to send them a picture of yourself when they can send you a picture of themselves with their face reflecting on the picture? Why do we have to stoop low to their levels?

3. We fight for men in public, for what good reason? What do we gain from that kind of behaviour? Men will continue two – timing us because they know very well that we will fight amongst ourselves and they will get away with their barbarian behaviour.

4. Why do we have to stoop so low to be home – wreckers? You know very well that the man has a family but that doesn’t stop you from seducing him or saying NO to his proposal. All you do is pride yourself that he leaves his wife and children at home to come for you because you satisfy him and you say: the wife will be strong. Do you really think you are satisfying him or you are alone in this circle? Women, we allow men to disrespect us and treat us like cheap objects because we are not hard to get.

5. Women, we are heartless and selfish. Why would a woman send a hitman or men to rape and infect another woman with infections or go to a traditional doctor just so that you can win someone’s husband or ruin a marriage for personal gain? Women, the cause of our real pain is not men but ourselves.

6. If you can trace the success or cause of underage prostitution or human trafficking, a woman is involved or she is the Queen pin of the association. What is the reason behind such actions? Don’t you have that sympathy or that inner conscience that will question you: “what if it was your child, niece or cousin”? You are destroying the world and because of you we will never defeat women abuse.

7. Women that are lazy to work hard and just sleep their way to the top. Do you know that the reason women are struggling to succeed to better positions is because of women like you? Now men find pleasure in exploiting women sexually in order for them to get the jobs and promotions they deserve and now other women pay revenge and exploit young men. The world is getting rotten because, there are some loose women who opted for the easy way out. Now others have to suffer the consequences and find themselves in compromised situations like rape.

9. Women, why are we so wicked that we end up becoming pro witches (masters of witchcraft) and delaying other women and their children’s success and happiness? We can never defeat abuse with our jealous hearts. Another woman is being mistreated in her own household, beaten to a pulp or killed because of the influence of another woman. Men can be insensitive and they think with their feelings at times. Let us (as women) not be the cause of another woman’s pain.

10. Women, let us not make men raise kids that are not theirs without their knowledge. Secrets and betrayals end up putting us in a situation where we pay with our lives. Honesty is needed. Secrets always have a way of coming out. How do we save marriages based on lies?

There is a lot of bad traits that we women have that one can mention, but all I’m trying to say is: let us also focus on fixing such bad habits amongst ourselves, and be the Dorcases of this world. Prayer defeats and changes everything. Once we ourselves can pride ourselves in being real women, without hesitation, then we can form a strong unity to fight against women abuse. Who knows? We might not need so much strength that we are in need of right now.

Women let us have self respect, stop mistreating each other and know our worth.****

The Flair Magazine salutes all the women of our nation. Happy Women’s Month to all of you.

the authorFlair


  • For women to take their rightful place on centre-stage in the development of South Africa, requires a collective effort of all the South Africans, and the inculcation of a new consciousness of gender equality at all levels. We cannot say we are making progress as a nation, unless the women of our country have shelters over their heads, adequate food to feed themselves and their families, health care, and access to clean water and electricity.

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